Sandcastle Days II – Red Tide
The TV said there was no red tide on South Padre Island so I went to the beach on Saturday.
Here is the TV crew:
Nope, no red tide heah.
**Red tide’s side effects may include watery eyes, sneezing, coughing, irritability and hallucinations. Red tide may also cause shortness of breath, sore throat, dizziness, nausea, irritability, uncontrollable bitching, heart palpitations, restless leg syndrome, crazy leg syndrome and toxic shock syndrome. Do not inhale red tide if you are pregnant, lactating, or have a weak stomach. Red tide should not be used in conjunction with alcohol, prescription medication or anything else you may be using to make life tolerable. Take red tide only with someone you trust. Do not operate heavy machinery after taking red tide. Should erection last for four hours, call a doctor. Should erection last for more than four hours, call me. Mild hallucinations may be killed with a sword. Should hallucinations become larger than a house, call a doctor.
**This is only a reflection of TODAY’s (Saturday, Oct. 17) conditions when it was windy right in the mid-afternoon. Some people were not even affected by red tide. Every individual’s reaction to red tide is different. If you are feeling lightheaded or are experiencing shortness of breath please call your doctor. If this is an emergency, call 911. Shortness of breath or trouble breathing should NEVER be taken lightly.